Friday, February 03, 2006

Lady Jan's Friend Wants Some Advice

My Young Goth Friend would like to ask some advice from anyone who would like to leave a comment here.

My friend has a problem, a big problem; she when she get depressed she er. . .cuts herself, or burns herself. This is called
Self-Injury or Self-Mutilation and is a very serious problem. And yes her dad is trying to get her a good doctor, and she has been to a specialist.

Here's the question: what can she do to replace this self-distructive behavior?
Please post your answers here, or on her blog that I have set a link to above, and there is another link to the side of my blog.

Thank you.


Sarah Elaine said...


First of all... thanks for the advice you left on my blog about my oven problem! MUCHLY appreciated!

I doubt I can reciprocate with something quite so exact, but I would say that professional help might be helpful... I mean a counsellor that your friend can trust and relate to. (I've heard there are lots out there that are not so good, so finding one you connect with is important.)

Learning to love one's Self (body, mind and soul) is a life's work. Most of us can't do it alone.

Blessings to you and to her.

Granny said...

Everything Sarah Elaine said. My granddaughter (another goth - 16) used to do that and then stopped on her own.

She never really knew why and as far as I know never replaced it with other destructive behavior.

I just kept telling her how much we loved her and how perfect she was to us. (She is, by the way - beautiful - she just didn't believe it).

I don't talk about them on the blog because their mother has physical custody and she has more than a touch of paranoia. I wouldn't invade her privacy without permission and I'm not anonymous so anyone could figure out who I'm talking about.

Janice said...


Thank you Ann and Sarah, and I will pass along the advice--it's all helpful.

I wish her problem would just go away like your grandaughters did Ann, but it seen pretty far advanced, as she is already burning desighns into her skin.

I doctored her arm and hand--it gave me a shudder just touching them. I don't suppose I have to tell you that this has brought me to tears.

I really do like the girl, she's interesting to talk to, and has a dark sense of humor that I like. And we get along real well, we're like her second family.

I've already talked to my young Goth friend's father, and he is trying to find her a good professional therapist. She has had two already that didn't help her at all.

And her father said "he's not going to give up on her!"

I am so glad he said that!