Happy 2009 and good by to sad old 2008 may it rest in peace.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ms. Menozzi--she an American that blogs in Italy where she teaches English, and writes romance stories in her spare time.
I got this from my friend Lisa Griffin, but she doesn't have a blog.
LIFE! You will love this!
'Laugh like no one is listening,
Love like you've never been hurt
and Dance like no one is watching.'
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . .. having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I love fortune cookies saying, and I collect them. So while everyone else is doing the Christmas thirteen, I doing fortune cookies. Yay! Which probably shows how screwed up I am.
1) You will hear pleasant news. (Sure.)
2) You can fix it with a little extra energy and positive attitude. (Uh-huh.)
3) (I love this one) You are protected by silent love and friendship near you. (I am? Cool.)
4) You will take a chance on something in the near future. (Hum, maybe I’ll sell a book.)
5) Happy events will take place shortly in your home. (They must mean Christmas.)
6) Your life will be happy and peaceful. (No visitors or in-laws. Maybe I won’t get a call from my mom either.)
7) Be prepared to receive something special. (Yeah, my husband bought a car and I had to figure out how we were going to pay for it.)
8) Tomorrow will be lucky and memorable for you. (That’s good because I usually have only bad luck.)
9) The person that’s good will infallibly become better. For virtue & time are two thing that never stand still. (I have no idea what that means.)
10) Take some time and really listen to your own inner wisdom. (I am wise? I had no idea.)
11) All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly. (Um, unless the passing is my husband and most of my family and his, I don’t think so.)
12) He who takes notes listens well. (A good memory doesn’t count?)
13) (My favorite) It’s over your head now. Time to get some professional help. (My daughter got this one. He he.)
Monday, December 08, 2008
"Do not pray for me and don't sing any hymns. I don't want a memorial service. Just have a party and remember me."
Arnold was in WWII as a cook.
He cooked for generals, and at the end of the war he was in Germany when Hitler fell.
After he came home he worked at Sears repairing appliances for twenty years, and raised his family.
After his retirement his mother (my grandmother Hattie Seagraves) became ill. He and his little sister Regina decided to take care of her. They at first worked as apartment managers, taking turns taking care of their mom. Then later at a mobile home park. Regina was the manager and Arnold was the assistant manager. Both remarried, but Arnold second marriage was not to last.
His mother passed away in 1985 and he retired fully.
Later he married his high school sweetheart Vi
and settled in the city of Pleasanton.
He is survived by his wife Vi and his four lovely children (2 girls and 2 boys) several grandchildren and a few great-grandchildren.
His last words were to his oldest daughter Suzy's husband, "You better take care of my little girl."
American river bridge, that we crossed this on the way
"Hi Dave, I'm your cousin Janice. We're lost."
Dave's house is in a very scenic area.
He gave us the names of two streets to look out for on the way back.
Thank goodness he did. I think we were at least ten miles off course, if not more.
Lovely houses were on every side of the road.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Today I have thirteen things I learned from my cat:
2) Listen to your body and lay down when you're feeling tired.
3) If you don't get what you want, just whine a little bit, and you can get anything.
4) Why do something yourself when you can get someone else to do it for you.
5) There's always time for a little cat nap.
6) Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often.
7) When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
8) Life is hard, and then you nap.
9) Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
10) When in doubt, cop an attitude.
11) Climb your way to the top; that's why the curtains are there.
12) Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy.
13) Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) of
first graders using a bowl oflifesavers.
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red......... ......... .....Cherry
Yellow...... ......... ...Lemon
Green....... ......... ...Lime
Orange...... ......... .Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.
'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God!! They're ass-holes!?
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her newhusband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highlyaroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for morethan 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford newclothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to findher husband in a very drunken state.
"During the next few minutes," he explained, "that his employerwas going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, atthe age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd beenearning, and therefore, they were financially ruined."
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in thebank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were theresults of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally hefound his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you weredoing, I would have given you all my Business!"
> > That's when she shot him.< <
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.