Friday, December 31, 2004

Lady Jan--Wishes you a Happy New Year!

Hello again! And Happy New Year!

Here I set, as then old year draws to a close, instead of going out and partying like everyone else......Me and my small family are going to set this one out!

Oh well! I don't drink, and I'm sick anyway.

I have a nasty cold or virus, I don't think it's the flu--no fever. Ick! I feel and look terrible!

The following is why I don't go to New Year Eve parties anymore.


The last time we went to a New Years Eve Party was a few years ago: We use to go to a certain Latino-family we knew; I guess I should say at this point that I'm white woman married to a tall handsome Mexican man, and we have a beautiful daughter who is half white and half Latino. We have friends that are all different nationalities. Anyway we had been friends for about fifteen years with this family, and had sort of adopted each other's kids.

But every year I was growing more and more appalled, at the how increasingly more drunk everyone was getting, at these parties. And how increasingly young the drinkers were getting. And I was thinking maybe we shouldn't go anymore, because for one thing it wasn't good to expose our daughter to this sort of thing.

Anyway the last time we went; It was awful--Usually I play cut-throat rummy with Nell and her Mom, and anyone else who want to play. We usually have a lot of fun joking and laughing, and making bad joke at our husbands expense, then they (the men)come over and play act like we hurt their feelings.

But I was due for a disappointment! After when we got there, my friend Nell was doing shots with a relative from Hollister, and asked me to join them. I declined, as I don't really drink, I just sip a little wine or champaine not much, maybe a glass or two to welcome in the new year. I really don't care for it. I don't like the taste of most alcoholic beverages, and I don't enjoy the buzz or fuzzy feeling you get from a few drinks.

So, I went out-side to talk to one of the adult kids, (I'll just call him H here), who was like my own nephew, and I enjoy talking to him. While we were talking--this other young person was trying to get sick by a tree. He was already drunk before he got there with his parents, and I think he was about fifteen. His spitting great amounts of spit, and it was nauseating me, and before I thought about it--I said something to H, about "the sound of spitting, was making me sick." But I didn't think I spoke very loud, as I have a very soft voice. But I was over heard by the spitter who took offense, and told me loudly to "f**k off!" or maybe it was "F**k you!" I didn't realize at first, that he was even speaking to me, that why I didn't get mad and say something back. I just looked blankly at H, thinking as I did who's he yelling at? as he was a cousin to the spitter, and he told him, "Hey dude, we have small kids, and family around here so watch your mouth!" Then I realized it was the booze talking, and I just tried to ignore him.

Nell came out after that, to smoke a ciggie, and talk to me for a couple of minutes. Then she accused the spitter of "trying to rape her tree." Huh? I looked around at the spitter. He had wrapped his arms around the tree, not in a armous way, but in what appeared to be a vain attempt to fight the laws of gravity. Then Nell went back inside, But the spitter kept spitting, and cursing, (not at me this time), as his knees slowly descended to earth.
Finally I couldn't stand him or the cold anymore, and I excused myself then went inside!

To find the my friend--the Hostess--completely! And it wasn't anywhere near midnight!

My husband was sitting next to Nell's sulking husband, who was just sitting hunched over and channel surfing. He was mad at Nell for drinking so much. My husband, was trying to get him to change the TV, to the sci-fi channel. And everytime they did, there was a rousing chorus from around the room of "No, no, no, no!" Then Nell's sister-in-law showed up late, and I usually get along quite well with her but she was mad at her husband, and was in a fine pout herself(she left her husband after that night.)

Nell amused everyone, by saying "everyone with a fat arse, should stand up and dance." Then she proceeded to point out everyone in the room "with a fat arse", including yours truly. She stood up to show us how we were suppose to dance, and then couldn't stand up. So her husband put her to bed. Then the life went right out of the party! That left uncommunicative adults, and a bunch of teens I didn't know.

Usually I get along quite well with young people, but not this time! I think, that's when I got the bad vibe or an impression, that they had no tolerance for a 40-ish, plump-ish, white-ish woman in there mid-est.

I'd heard something--I know a few Spanish words, enough to know when I'm being made fun of, and look around and they'd start laughing....not the host's kids, but these out of town cousins of theirs. And with no one for me to talk to--especially with my friend passed-out--and everyone getting increasingly more, and more drunk--and mean--or moody, there was just no reason to stay! Even my then ten year old daughter came over and sat by me, and complained she couldn't get anyone to play with her.

As soon as it was polite to--we left! On the way out we passed H, trying to drag the semi-comatose cousin (aka the spitter) into the house. Apparently when he was sitting outside earlier to keep an eye on him. And then he warned us "not to go near the tree!" It seemed the spitter's cursing and spitting, had not kept his stomach content in. In other words he hurled! Big time! We said "Ew! Yuck!" then I said, "I hoped he (the spitter)didn't have alcohol poisoning." H said, "I Hope he dosen't either," then we drove home.

And that's the last New Years Eve party, that I have gone to! At this point I have no inclination to go to another!

Well, I didn't mean to be a downer at New Years!
I hope you, and everyone out there has a good, and safe time!

Happy New Years!

Monday, December 27, 2004

Lady Jan's--Year end Memes

I got this from Gwen, who got it from Grace, who got it from Frog.
I don't know where Frog got it from, maybe she wrote it herself?

Year end Meme.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you have never done before?
I got online, and got my own e-mail address, and I got my own blog too.

2. Did you keep your last new year's resolution?
I don't make those anymore.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yeah, my sister-in-law gave birth to a baby boy.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank God!

5. What countries did you visit?
None, I didn't even leave the state. I know, how terrible boring of me.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A new or newer car would be nice.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 11, 2004, that's the date that my sister had her one year anniversary of her bone marrow transplant for leukemia.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting on-line, and getting a blog. I don't know it it means anything to anybody else, but it sure means a lot to me!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting enough of the bills paid off.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does having a virus count? Then No.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A whole new wardrobe for my thirteen year old daughter, after she got pushed around and teased at school.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband and daughter, as they were such a huge help to me, in getting the whole house clean-up and ready for the holidays.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The before mentioned kids at my daughter's school, who thought they were the fashion police. Tan tights with a green skirt, are not a 'faux pah', okay!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills! Where else?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Finding a book by my favorite author Pat Hodgell; on, and getting it ordered, and then getting it, and then reading it. Then ditto for Gwen Zepeda's book.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
That song that Pipin sang on the last "Lord of the rings" movie, "Return of the King." But I can't think of the name of the song.

17. Compared to this year are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter? Does anyone really want to know this? Well okay--Fatter.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, my husband got a raise last March. Yeah!

18. What do you wish you had done more of?
writing, and working more in my garden.

19. What do you wish you had done less of?
spending money, but I had help there! My husband is a whole lot worse than I am! I'm actually very cheap, and I squeak when I walk. Squeak, squeak!

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home, and everyone that I love came here!

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Um, I'm in love currently with my husband of 25 years.

22. How many one-night-stands?
Who me? No! Never ever, never will!!!!!!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I guess that would be CSI, all of them.

24. Do you hate anyone now, that you didn't hated this time last year?
I don't really like the word hate, how about dis-like-intensely? Well, no. I don't dis-like anyone, that I didn't dis-like last year.

25. What was your greatest book you read this year?
blood and Ivory' by P.B. Hodgell, and 'The last jerk I slept with, and all the men just like him' by Gwen Zepeda.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
We bought my daughter a flute, does that count?

27. What did you want and get?
On the internet.

28. What did you want and not get?
More presents to give to my family.

29. What was your favorite film this year?
"Return of the King," when they released the extended version. But I loved it before that!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old are you?
We had all our May babies over at my Mom's house, and we had a birthday cake with all our names on it. And our May babies are; my Mom, and my nephew Brian, and me of course. I turned 43 in May 2004.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satifying?
If I had won that writing competition, that I had entered.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept for 2004?
My WHAT? I'm a house wife! I wear t-shirt and stretchy shorts in the summer, and sweaters and sweats and stretchy pants in the winter time. Well maybe I'm over simplifying, a little bit. But I am currently trying to find the perfect blazer, so that I don't look so "house wifey," when we go some place nice. A girl's got to look good some time!

33. What kept you sane in 2004?
Taking a writing course, and finishing it. Then getting on-line.
So basically creating two goals for myself, and then doing them!

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The young ones, I feel are too young for me now, as in Orlando Bloom and Elijah Wood. And the older ones I just don't like anymore. So no one.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election, the war in Iraq, and all the good young people we keep loosing over there!
But not necessarily in that order.

36. Who did you miss?
My Dad I will always miss. He died 21 years ago this year, and he took a piece of my heart with him.
Then my Uncle Arnold--his not dead though, but he just had a 90th birthday celebration, and I couldn't go!
Sob, sob!

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Katie--my Nephew Brian's girlfriend. I like her she's spunky, and knows her own mind!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson that you learned in 2004.
That you can not control the bad things, that happens to the ones you love the most! And sometimes the best you can do is just love them, and pray that they get better, and then let the problem go! The release is the important part. If you meditate like my sister does or pray like I do,(actually I do both) the release is very important. Because the Universe or God, or God and the Universe can not help you--if you do not release the problem.

So let go let God, or let go and let Goddess, or let go and let the Universe handle it!

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Um...I'll have to come back to that one later.


Meme 2: time line This one I got from Gwen.
Check her out at;

The taking stock of my life.

25 years ago: Unfortunately My Grandfather (my Mom's Dad) passed away on New Years day 1979, and it was a bad way to start the first year that I became official an adult. I turned 18 in May, and a month later in June I graduated from Madera High School. And then I got married to my husband Dave on 12-21-79, and we are still married today. During these early years I tried writing, and I invented a world called Arcon it was to be like Tokien's Middle Earth, but with more women. Soon in January or so in 1980, I was hired for a year as a assistant apartment manager at the apartments where we lived. My husband, was a loan officer for HFC.

20 years ago: I was 23. But I had some bad years here starting two years earlier in 1982--My Dad at age 60 had passed away, and I was still trying to come to terms with that, some two years later. Twice I had tried to go to collage and had to drop out first because of my Dad's illness, as I had wanted to be close to him before he died. In fact I was at the hospital when he passed-on, I was in the bathroom of all places, and felt him go. And a piece of my heart painlessly ripped out, and went with him to heaven. Then the next time we both tried to go to college, and we had a car accident that was in 1984. My husband and I were okay, but the car was too messed-up to take us to Fresno city collage anymore. Then in that same year my sister had her beautiful baby boy they named Brian, she had been married for two years, but the marriage wasn't to last much longer. Then a year later, in 1985 my heart was to be broken yet again, because my Grandmother(my Dad's Mom) had died, she was 93, and my last grandparent! During this time my husband and I lived with my Mother-in-law, who lives in a very bad nieborhood, and we would be there for four years total. I worked in the mailroom of the Madera Tribune, it was a dirty thankless job, but I tolerated it okay. My husband was a collection agent, for a local collection office, and he hated it.

15 years ago: I was 28. I and my husband ran a used appliance and repair business, and I also was my five year old nephew Brian's day care, at the store and our apartment. I was finally out of that very bad nieborhood, but at work I was having to deal with some very nasty people all day, everyday, and hating it. In a year my world would be rocked again with news that my only brother had leukemia! If you get the idea that the Angel of Death had visited my family, you would not be too far off the mark! And these are just the hightlight, can you imagine what I'm leaving out? But things do get better, do please read on.

10 years ago: I was 33, and I had gave birth to a baby girl, three years earlier. A month after she was born my brother, had under gone his bone marrow transplant, for his leukemia. This year, I was at home raising our little girl, and was Brian's day care once again! At this time I was also trying to decide, about quitting my at home craft and wood working business called "Jan's kritter's." My hands were starting to bother me big time! I was then dianosed with tendonities in my hands and shoulders and one elbow. My husband and I, had a long discussion about me being a "homemaker" for now on. My husband was working at his second(in a row, not at the same time) industrial job--Oberti olives of Madera.

5 years ago: I was 38. And I decided I would start to write seriouly, and to work toward making a income with my writing. My husband job at Oberti's was over, the plant had decided to close, as they were having too many problems with the water situation. We have a lot of problems with our water here. Then my husband got a job working at the biggest winery in town--Mission bell.

3 years ago: I was 40, I still was a homemaker, and still hadn't publish anything, and not from lack of trying. So I decided I would need to take a class in writing. I had been volunteering a lot at school, but as my daughter was now ten, the teachers didn't need my help anymore. My husband was still at the winery, and he was happy at this job and had been promoted three times, in the last three years. Then he was a journeyman mechanic, and night Foreman for the crush season. And we were doing okay.

1 year ago: I was 42. I am still a homemaker and I finally signed up for that writing class. My husband had finished a class for work the year earlier, so he was okay with me taking a course too. Then I found out my sister had leukemia, and I was stunned, another sibling? That was two, all that I have! My brother was okay, but would she be? I had lost so many to cancer my father most of my uncles, and one Aunt, and I knew the odds were bad. I could barely faction for the next few months, as it was so hard to accept the fact that she might die.

This year: I am now 43, my daughter is thirteen, and my husband is 46. And my nephew I use to take care of is now 20, and on his own. I'm still a homemaker, and I finally finished my correspondence course on writing over the Summer. For the first time I got online and now have an e-mail address and my very own blog. My brother had had his thirteenth year anniversary of his bone marrow transplant. And my sister has just celebrated her one year anniversary of hers , and for now she seems to be okay.

Yesterday: It was wonderful--I had my sister and her boy-friend, by nephew and his girl-friend, and my brother and his girl-friend over for a day late Christmas celebration. Then I realized my husband and myself, were the only married couple in the group.

Today: I cooked, and I cleaned, then I took an nap and now I'm writing on my blog.

Tomorrow: No plans, maybe the same thing. My daughter is off for three weeks from school, and my husband job is on monitory shut-down, and he has to take his vacation days this week. So I got my wee family all to myself, and I'll just try to enjoy them.

That's all folks!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Lady Jan's 25 th wedding anniversary

Today as I write this--it is my and my husband's 25 th wedding anniversary!
25 years, with the same man, now how many can say that!

Last year I entered a contest, and had a chance to be interviewed on TV, for valentines day. Unfortunately my daughter got sick, and she starting throwing-up, so I had to cancel, and that was that! The saddest thing, was my daughter apologizing about us missing being on TV! I told her that she, was way more important, than us being on TV! I'm not one of those people who crave that sort of thing anyway! I just thought they'd read the letter, had I known they wanted an interview....Well.....I'm not sure....if I would have entered.

The contest was called: Secrets to a long lasting relationship!

Here's what I wrote.

I and My husband have been this last December--married 24 years(remember that this was written last Febuary, and today it's 25 years), so at almost a quarter of a century of marriage, I think I qualify to give some advice.
So here it goes:

1. Communication is very important in a marriage--so keep talking (no nagging), even if he fakes being asleep. Some of it is bound to be getting through.

2. Don't hold a grudge--chances are very good, that he doesn't remember what he did wrong anyway.

3. Learn to cook food he really likes--it's true that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It is also true that when you are on a diet, your husband probably doesn't want to be on one too.

4. Hold hands--we still do. This a great way to say "yep, this is my guy(or gal), and I'm not embarrassed to be seen in public with you."

5. Date your spouse (or the one your with)--and call it a date. It really does keep the relationship fresh. This one is my husband's idea--from the start of my marriage, and it's a good one. After all these years later--we are still dating. Sometimes when we go some place special or romantic, I still get that little tingle, and my husband says he still does too.

Sincerely Lady Jan

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Lady Jan--sees an accident

This morning as I was taking my husband to work, and we came across a accident. The CHP, had just gotten there, and apparently someone didn't stop at the stop sign. And it is only a two way stop, and not a four way stop!

This great big half ton truck had penned a camero to a cement stand pipe (it's one of those big cement things that the farmers use to irrigate their fields with). And it could have been a lot worse, than the driver bing penned inside. He was penned in a way that he couldn't get out of the camero, not you know penned the really bad life threatening way. We looked at him through the mostly intact wind shield and he looked right back, and he didn't looked in shock or anything. He just looked kinda pissed! Like "Damn, now I'm really late for work!" And then he tried to look at the CHP, over the big truck pinning him like, "Can some one get this truck off me, so I can get out now!"

Anyway, I guess one of them was in a awful hurry, and just didn't think they had to stop at the bright red sign that read--STOP!

I'm sorry but, this is one of my pet peeves! So I'm gonna "Peeve" away!

Stop sign are for you and for me! I stop at stop signs, and I notice when I do sometimes the other car will take my turn! Dang it! I'm not stopping so you, and your lazy butt can take my turn! I'm stopping because it's the law!

The stop signs are for everyone, not for everyone else but....
1. New cars
2. Expensive cars
3. Old cars you don't give a crap about!
4. Big trucks
5. Big new trucks
6. Big trucks you don't care about!
7. People driving Cameros
8. Important people
9. Rich people
10. Poor people
11. People on a date!
12. Angry people, that are driving to cool off, and shouldn't be!
12. People in a hurry!
13. People late for work!
14. People who think the laws, are not for them!

When one of these people, met up with another one of these people; we have an accident!

I hope you are not one of these!

P.S. the colored words are not links. I was just having fun with the colors, so don't click on them they wont take you anywhere. I'm sorry if that was confusing, as I didn't mean it to be.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Lady Jan--on gum chewing

I used to love to chew gum. I could chew the same stick of gum for hours.

One of my sister's friends said, "All that gum chewing, will cause you to have over developed jaw muscles, and give you a square jaw."
(I was about twelve at the time.)

Then when I did develop square jaw(well, we can't all be perfect ovals) she tried to say she was "right!" I laughed, and then I pointed out, "Lots of my family members, have the same square shape, including my Dad. Also having a square jaw, was not the end of the world!"

So whoop de do!

When I was even younger; I had noticed that my Mom, was popping her gum as she chewed.

Then I asked her, "Mom, how can you pop your gum, with-out blowing a bubble?"

She answered, "I'm not gonna teach you how to do that! It's a bad habit!
And an annoying one, at that!"

Ah ha! I sensed a challenge, in my adolescent mind!

I worked, and worked on how to do it! I would watch my Mom, when she was chewing her gum. She would look at me from the corner of her eye and tell me,
"Stop that! I know what your up to!"

And then, I made a brake-through! I folded over my gum, and crunched down on the trapped air caught in the gum! Pop! I was delighted! I figured it out! Pop! I popped my gum in triumph!


And soon there after, I was busily annoyed every adult with-in hearing range!

Pop! I guess it is really annoying! Pop!
But, I can't stop now! It a habit!