Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Time for jokes

Time for a couple of jokes

Life savors

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) of
first graders using a bowl oflifesavers.

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red......... ......... .....Cherry
Yellow...... ......... ...Lemon
Green....... ......... ...Lime
Orange...... ......... .Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.

'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God!! They're ass-holes!?


On their wedding night, the young bride approached her newhusband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highlyaroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for morethan 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford newclothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to findher husband in a very drunken state.

"During the next few minutes," he explained, "that his employerwas going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, atthe age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd beenearning, and therefore, they were financially ruined."

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in thebank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were theresults of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally hefound his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you weredoing, I would have given you all my Business!"

> > That's when she shot him.< <

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.


Kristen Painter said...


Janice said...

Hi Kristen,

SO you like the jokes ;-)