According to a certain article we women aren’t funny!
Don’t tell me that women aren’t funny!
And don’t tell that to Gwen or Merle! And come to think of it maybe Jen & Cass don't need to know that they can't be funny either? And it would be such a let down for me too!
I read the article; it seems that because we women have a womb, that we have no need to be funny. It’s men who need to be funny because they are the wooers of women, and being funny is a wooing ability?
The funny thing is I have been around funny women all my life!
My aunt Lola May was a hoot! She was a short person at five foot two in my mom’s side of the family and that’s in a family of tall women!(my mom's five seven) But she wouldn’t let anything stop her.
She kept her and her husbands cars and trucks running, and occasionally she even take a motor apart and over haul it, and that was during a time when most women didn’t do that sort of thing.
Her husband my uncle Mutt, yeah Mutt--his real name was Clyde, anyway he would tease her daily about her pet pig that she had a long time ago and then they go round and round about it. “He was a CLEAN pig too!” she’d exclaim.
My uncle Bruce (her brother) and his wife Edith and his dog Taco (in that order) moved down to where she lived at Riverside (CA) and he had just quit smoking, but Lola May hadn’t.
She’d complain "When Bruce comes over for a visit and I’d light one and up he’d start coughing, and that was his way of telling me my smoking bothered him!”
Then she’d raise an eye brow and wait a beat or two and then we knew there was more, and she leaned forward and continue with, “and then that damn dog of his would cough too!
And that damn dog has a cough that sounds just like his!”
She always kept a little statue on her tv set that was of four monkeys the first one was see no evil, the second was hear no evil, then hear no evil, and finally the last one a glum looking little monkey titled have no fun!
And that was pretty much her attitude too!
Then there was my cousin Ann who was one of the tallest women in my dad’s family and that is in a family of short women, when I asked her how tall was she? And she told me she "was six foot in her cowboy boots."
And that's an answer?
One time when we went to go see her over at the coast where her and her husband (Sam) lived at Oceano near Pismo beach (CA) she took us girls (me my mom and my sister) around to look at art galleries and gift shops and after one such stop--she fell.
We girls were going to get in on the passengers side of the car and we were startled to see her fall down slowly like a tall tree.
When we ran over to see if she was okay there she was sitting and nursing a hurt knee, and asked us quite seriously, “did I fall gracefully?”
She also had a saying, and I not sure where she got it but it went something like this:
Women have many faults
and men have only two
everything they say,
and everything they do!
She also would tell the best stories too.
I remember her telling us girls about some of her nieces that came for a visit, and she took them to the pool, and there was a young man took a look at the girls and decided he’d try to impress them.
“Then the young man jumped off the diving board and did a double flip with a half twist, and came up out of the water and noticed that the girls were laughing and pointing at him–not the reaction he was expecting.
But them he didn’t expect his short to be floating some where behind him either.”
My mom isn’t usually a funny person she's a real lady, and that is why when she does says something funny it’s even funnier than it should be.
After I had my baby at our Madera Community hospital I had her c-section, and my mom came to see me late the next day. And while we were visiting I was telling her that the nurses were calling the tube that you pee out of a ‘perry tube’ that was just removed (from me) that morning. And then later that day when one of the nurse’s was instructing me on the care and cleaning of my new little baby girl, she called her private area a ‘perry’.
“Isn’t that interesting?” I asked her, “that they’s call that part of the body a ‘perry’ when I’m use to it being call a urethra? Or a vulva? And the tube is a catheter? And here they are calling it a ‘perry’?”
Then my mom pops off with, “I’m glad I don’t have a son named Perry!”
I started laughing, then she looked horrified and I know what went through her head, 'That's not a lady like thing to say?'
And she quickly told me, “Don’t you tell anyone I said that!”
Then I really lost it, and it was, “Ow, my stomach!”