Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Thursday's Thirteen: Men


My family and I worked in the yard today. I got some weeding done in the garden, but not enough.

I'm pooped so I'm posting another quick and dirty Thursday's Thirteen, this one for the men. I got it off of Merle's blog.

Top Twenty International Rules of Manhood. From an Australian newspaper.

1. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten.

3. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden, however complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is entirely optional.

7. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score
but you may never ask who's playing.

9. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

10. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

11. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

12. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

13. A man in the company of a hot suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

And here's the bonus, the rest of the list, enjoy.

14. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last piece if pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

15. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

16. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

17. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on an equal footing, ie., both urinating, both waiting in line etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

18. It is acceptable for you to drive her car, but it is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

19. Thou should not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue

20. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you would know what" gets an Xbox. End of story.

13 comments:

Shelley Munro said...

These made me laugh. There's certainly a grain of truth in some of these. :-)

Ms Menozzi said...

Some of these make me wonder - how international can they be? I mean, straight, macho-type men in Italy do the following things with no worries:

Kisses on both cheeks

Wear Pink shirts (and not just the Giro d'Italia)

Hold hands

Wear Speedos (and in some cases, I'm oh, so glad for this!)

Wear house slippers

Use terrycloth bathrobes

Own sky blue cars (usually Peugeot)

Hmmm...

LOL! Happy TT!

Ciao!

Inez Kelley said...

I love it and OMG how true!!

http://talesfromthecrit.wordpress.com/

Ella Drake said...

Some of these are so spot on, it kills me. Some of them make me want to go give the husband a kiss for being him!

Adelle Laudan said...

Too funny! Men are just strange, plain and simple. LOL
Happy T13!

Paige Tyler said...

Men have strange ideas, don't they?! LOL!

*hugs*
Paige

My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/

Kate Willoughby said...

I think those are hilarious!

Janice said...

Hi Shelley,

Thank you, I'm glad I could make you laugh.

Hi Ms Menozzi,

Well, maybe their for all the men but the Italians? Italian are just more comfortable enough with their sex to have silly rules like these.

Hi Inez,

I'm glad you like them.

Hi Ella,

Yeah, I'm the same way. My hubby won't were pink or drive a colored car (ours is dark gray) but He's comfortable enough to hold my hand in public.

Hi Adelle,

Yes they are.

Hi Paige,

Yes, I have to agree to that. I have talk to enough men to know a lot of these are true.

Hi Kate,

I'm glad I could make you laugh.

Happy TT everybody.
Janice~

rjlebeau said...

A high percentage of these are true. I just never expected them to be in print!

I used to have a pink Quicksilver t-shirt back when I used to lift weight six days a week. And no one ever made a comment about it. :)

Elise said...

Funny. I sent the blog link to DH, too.

E

Janice said...

Hi rjlebeau,

Ha, the cat has been let out of the bag!

Hi Else,

I hope he enjoys them.

Happy TT, thanks for posting.

Elsa, Kate, Ella sorry I couldn't post back to you but you don't have a blog nor did you leave a link. I will next time if you will post a link to your blog.

Janice~

Merle said...

Dear Janice ~~ Good post and thanks for the mention. I like to see things passed around.
Thanks for your comments and Jeanette, Pauline and I had a lovely afternoon. But we all missed Gwen that day. I am glad you liked the Air Conditioner story. I thought maybe most Americans may have known the story. Our snow season in the mountains has started 6 weeks early this year. Cold nights and reasonable days. Take great care my friend, Love, Merle.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Thank you for the use of the Men's list, it seems a lot of people liked it.

I'm sorry your still missing Gwen, but it seem right that you should. She was a lot of fun, from what I understand from your and Jeanette's posts.

Ford was one of our American heros, making history and all that. He invented not the car but the modern assembly lines. I have never heard of that story about the AC units before, but it was really good thank you for posting it.

Take care and stay warm my friend.
Janice~