Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thursday's thirteen: Never
Today's Thursday's thirteen is a list of "Never" quotes:
1. Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial. - Sydney Biddle Barrows, the "Mayflower Madam"
2. Never say "Oops" in the operating room. - Dr. Leo Troy
3. Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end". Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. -Tim Allen
4. Never kick a fresh cow dropping on a hot day. - Harry S. Truman
5. Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. - G.K.Chesterton
6. Never use while sleeping. - Instruction on Conair hair dryer
7. Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!" - Rita Rudner
8. Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. - Woodrow Wilson
9. Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. - Winston Churchill
10. Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. - John Peers
11. Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera
12. Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts. - Ruth Gordon
13. Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel. - American adage about antagonizing newspaper editors.