Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Love, loss and Vanessa

Love, loss and Vanessa

Warning a sad post.
If you don’t know already, we lost my niece Vanessa suddenly at age fifteen, and we still don’t know how or why she died.
Sunday; we went to Vanessa viewing that for some reason was also called a wake. I looked down at her and she didn’t really look like herself, more like a beautiful plaster cast that someone dressed in her eighth grade graduation dress and all her favorite jewelry. There’s a double stand of gold beads in her hair like a tiara. She looks like our princess gone to sleep.
These things went through my head a rough poem of sorts or a haiku;
Get up Vanessa get up.
I'm suppose to go to your wedding in a few years,
Not your funeral to shed tears.
Get up Vanessa get up.
You didn’t do anything to land you here;
Nothing a young girl should fear.
Get up Vanessa get up.
Your brothers are grief-stricken,
and parents’ heartbroken.
Get up Vanessa get up.
Uncle draws the cross on your brow.
Friends touch your hand, or hair.
"Get up Vanessa get up!"
Is your father threat as he hits your casket.
But you’ve already gone to your final exit.

Monday the day of her funeral; almost everyone wore pink (her favorite color) and black as requested, even the men wore either a pink tie or shirt with black pants and jacket. The women were uniformly in pink blouse and black pants or skirt.
There were so many people that we filled to over flowing the kingdom hall (The kids were raised Jehovah witnesses but the father is Catholic). Later at the chapel they had to have us view Vanessa’s body in shifts then we exited out the door. Then we follow the hearse in our cars to Arbor Vita Cemetery.
The reception afterwards was subdued as these things generally are. The mother went to lie down as the dad made his rounds.
We sat in the sun and I got a sun burn, and because I worse sunglasses I have a skiers tan (burn) either that or I look like a raccoon. It’s an odd sort of souvenir of that very sad day.
This is from Vanessa’s parents; it was written on the back side of the card that was handed out at the funeral;
Perhaps you sent a lovely card,
Or sat quietly in a chair.
Perhaps you sent a floral piece.
If so we saw it there.
Perhaps you said the kindest of words,
As any friend can say.
Perhaps you were not there at all
And just thought of us that day.
Whatever you did to console our hearts
We thank you so much whatever the part.
Thank you one and all for all your care and sympathy.


megz_mum said...

Hi Janice, what a terribly difficult few days for you! Lots of hugs (again!)

Megz said...

My thoughts are with you guys, hope you all pull through ok.

Am sending virtual hugs and chocolate chip cookies.

Thanks also for the comment

Bethanne said...

keeping you in my prayers. The pink sounds like a wonderful thing.

Merle said...

Dear Janice ~~ Lovely poem for Vanessa and the parent's message was lovely. I hope they will be able to recover from this awful loss, My thoughts and prayers are with you and them. Thank you for your comments and my mother was on a holiday to Queensland with one of her sisters. both of whom have passed many years ago. I knew Merle meant blackbird and I do like them. I notice mostly in the U.S. Merle is a male name.
Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

Gledwood said...

Janice that's very sad.

Beautiful poem...

Take care


Janice said...

Hi Mum,

Thank you, and I could take a hug about now.

Hi Megz,

Thank you I wish I could taste those cookies I bet there good.

Hi Bethanne,

Thank you, and the pink theme went off really well.

Hi Merle,

Thank you I'm glad you like them both, though I can only claim credit for the first one which I wrote.

I hope they can too, her parents are at present not doing too well.

Yes Merle here it is used mostly for a man, but I thought it was interesting that your name meant black bird.

Hi Gled,

Yes it is and her parent aren't doing very well.

Thank you, it just sort of came to me.

Take care everyone, and if you would please keep Vanessa's parents in your prayers and thoughts I really do believe with all my heart in the power of prayer and positive thinking.

Take care everyone, and God bless you all for your concern and sympathy.

Your Lady Jan~

Jeanette said...

Hi Lady Jan,
Thinking of you at this very sad time.Lovely poem you have posted and lovely words from Vanessa's parents.. Sendind warm hugs,,,Jen

Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

Thank you, I can use all the warm hugs.

Lady Jan~