Love, loss and Vanessa

Love, loss and Vanessa

Warning a sad post.
If you don’t know already, we lost my niece Vanessa suddenly at age fifteen, and we still don’t know how or why she died.
~*~
Sunday; we went to Vanessa viewing that for some reason was also called a wake. I looked down at her and she didn’t really look like herself, more like a beautiful plaster cast that someone dressed in her eighth grade graduation dress and all her favorite jewelry. There’s a double stand of gold beads in her hair like a tiara. She looks like our princess gone to sleep.
~*~
These things went through my head a rough poem of sorts or a haiku;

.
Get up Vanessa get up.
I'm suppose to go to your wedding in a few years,
Not your funeral to shed tears.

.
Get up Vanessa get up.
You didn’t do anything to land you here;
Nothing a young girl should fear.
.

Get up Vanessa get up.
Your brothers are grief-stricken,
and parents’ heartbroken.
.

Get up Vanessa get up.
Uncle draws the cross on your brow.
Friends touch your hand, or hair.
.

"Get up Vanessa get up!"
Is your father threat as he hits your casket.
But you’ve already gone to your final exit.
~*~

Monday the day of her funeral; almost everyone wore pink (her favorite color) and black as requested, even the men wore either a pink tie or shirt with black pants and jacket. The women were uniformly in pink blouse and black pants or skirt.

.

There were so many people that we filled to over flowing the kingdom hall (The kids were raised Jehovah witnesses but the father is Catholic). Later at the chapel they had to have us view Vanessa’s body in shifts then we exited out the door. Then we follow the hearse in our cars to Arbor Vita Cemetery.

.
The reception afterwards was subdued as these things generally are. The mother went to lie down as the dad made his rounds.

We sat in the sun and I got a sun burn, and because I worse sunglasses I have a skiers tan (burn) either that or I look like a raccoon. It’s an odd sort of souvenir of that very sad day.
~*~
This is from Vanessa’s parents; it was written on the back side of the card that was handed out at the funeral;

~*~
Perhaps you sent a lovely card,
Or sat quietly in a chair.
Perhaps you sent a floral piece.
If so we saw it there.
Perhaps you said the kindest of words,
As any friend can say.
Perhaps you were not there at all
And just thought of us that day.
Whatever you did to console our hearts
We thank you so much whatever the part.
~*~
Thank you one and all for all your care and sympathy.
~*~

Death in the family

Life took a tragic and unexpected turn today as one of our younger family members died unexpectedly last night.

I got the call at seven in the morning today, and had to have my husband explain it twice before it could sink in.

"How can Vanessa be dead?" I asked "She was only fifteen."

"They think it was a brain aneurysm."

I found out more information when I went over to my sister-in-laws. My Sister-in-law was in no shape to speak to me, but her youngest son was.

He explained that Vanessa had been fine but had a headache.

She had a sleep over guest and they had done all the things you do with a sleep over; painted toes nails, watch movies, ate popcorn. But she had a headache and she said she was going to lay down for a while and see if it would go away.

It didn't.

A couple of minutes later Vanessa's overnight guest was running screaming for her parents--Vanessa was convulsing.

They called 911, and waited for the ambulance as they gave tried to revive her with no success. Precious minutes were lost as the ambulance got stopped by a train. The Paramedic finally arrived and tried to revive Vanessa without success.

They pronounced her dead on the scene and the coroner was call. She had died on her bed.

Her family member stayed around her touching her hands and her feet, as they gradually turned cold as her body cooled.

There is an autopsy being preformed, and the grieving family can not hold a funeral until the cause of death has been found.

I would like to say that the family are doing as well as can be expected, but I can not. This is tearing the parents up.

It's a shock.

Vanessa was their youngest and only daughter, her two older brothers are grown and one is married.

Vanessa was so young so vigant so full of life. She already had a young woman's grace. She was also a terrible tease one friend related to me. I know my own daughter felt close to her, and protective of her younger (by a year and half) cousin and she tried to look out for her at school.

I will always remember her as tall and willowy, with long dark hair that hung down her back with a twinkle in her big brown eyes. And as she hurried to where her father parked waiting to take her home after school, and they would then give me a wave before they left.

I'll miss her.

Fifteen is way too young to die.