Love, loss and Vanessa

Love, loss and Vanessa

Warning a sad post.
If you don’t know already, we lost my niece Vanessa suddenly at age fifteen, and we still don’t know how or why she died.
~*~
Sunday; we went to Vanessa viewing that for some reason was also called a wake. I looked down at her and she didn’t really look like herself, more like a beautiful plaster cast that someone dressed in her eighth grade graduation dress and all her favorite jewelry. There’s a double stand of gold beads in her hair like a tiara. She looks like our princess gone to sleep.
~*~
These things went through my head a rough poem of sorts or a haiku;

.
Get up Vanessa get up.
I'm suppose to go to your wedding in a few years,
Not your funeral to shed tears.

.
Get up Vanessa get up.
You didn’t do anything to land you here;
Nothing a young girl should fear.
.

Get up Vanessa get up.
Your brothers are grief-stricken,
and parents’ heartbroken.
.

Get up Vanessa get up.
Uncle draws the cross on your brow.
Friends touch your hand, or hair.
.

"Get up Vanessa get up!"
Is your father threat as he hits your casket.
But you’ve already gone to your final exit.
~*~

Monday the day of her funeral; almost everyone wore pink (her favorite color) and black as requested, even the men wore either a pink tie or shirt with black pants and jacket. The women were uniformly in pink blouse and black pants or skirt.

.

There were so many people that we filled to over flowing the kingdom hall (The kids were raised Jehovah witnesses but the father is Catholic). Later at the chapel they had to have us view Vanessa’s body in shifts then we exited out the door. Then we follow the hearse in our cars to Arbor Vita Cemetery.

.
The reception afterwards was subdued as these things generally are. The mother went to lie down as the dad made his rounds.

We sat in the sun and I got a sun burn, and because I worse sunglasses I have a skiers tan (burn) either that or I look like a raccoon. It’s an odd sort of souvenir of that very sad day.
~*~
This is from Vanessa’s parents; it was written on the back side of the card that was handed out at the funeral;

~*~
Perhaps you sent a lovely card,
Or sat quietly in a chair.
Perhaps you sent a floral piece.
If so we saw it there.
Perhaps you said the kindest of words,
As any friend can say.
Perhaps you were not there at all
And just thought of us that day.
Whatever you did to console our hearts
We thank you so much whatever the part.
~*~
Thank you one and all for all your care and sympathy.
~*~

Pink for a funeral?

We went to see Vanessa's parents yesterday and they are doing better. The shock has worn off a little bit, and they're doing what needs to be done and have made the necessary funeral arrangements (now that the coroner has released her body).

I was told by my sister-in-law that Vanessa's favorite color was pink and they want everyone to wear that color for her funeral.

Pink?

What scares me is I'm too large a woman to be wearing solid pink. I did once and my family shielded their eyes. I think I could be seen me from orbit.

Okay, I can wear pink and black--I got it in black and white from the newspaper.

See Vanessa was a very pretty girl, but her hair was longer than this though.

We went shopping and my husband found a very pretty lite pink tie that he'll wear with a white shirt and black pants and jacket. My daughter found a white shirt and a pink tank top that'll double as a camisole that she'll wear with black pants.

And me? I found two pink blouses; one I'll wear at the memorial service with a pair of gray pants, the other to the funeral with a pair of black pants.

Next I need to found a pretty plant or lovely pot of pink flowers to take to the funeral.

~*~

On a different subject;

To cap off a truly awful week; my daughter's cat Suzu was attacked, we think, by a dog.

My daughter doctored her and she seems to be recovering; mostly she has been sleeping, but she has eaten and drank some and used the litter box.

I just hope it wasn't a rabid coyote that bit her.*shudder*